Mixed Up Molly Eden

I. Peekaboo Interlude

is this it is this the place
    molly's place (it is)
yea yea yea we're here and safe
    safe at home in molly's place

but where is molly (peekaboo love)
    not here not there is she
peekaboo love is lost and gone
    molly's place is empty

but here she comes (hush little baby)
    molly's here at last
yea yea yea sit tight little baby
    molly's haven is full

II. The Important Matter
    (Somewhat Somethings)

speech speech speech

Molly

ahem

shhhhhh

my mother named me after a smile
    (molly may not spark spontaneous smirking
    but when spoken correctly
    said not just with the mouth but the lips as well
    the y makes even the faintest urge quite irresistible)

show us how

molleee
    you see

(applause applause applause)

there is much to be said about a name
one that forces the tide of the lips to change direction completely
    (i however shall leave it unsaid
    and move on to the more important matter)

(ah yes) the name
molly stands for smile
and thus here i am
    first name molly
    last name eden

but here's something i find rather pertinent
    (some would even call it revealing)
molly lifts the mouth into a smile
cupped like the curve of a rubber swing
but eden spoken properly
leads to nothing but a grimace

show us how

eeedennn
    first a grimace and then a blank
    it's enough to repulse a small child

(silence)

hmmm
i suppose that's not a very optimistic mention
but o well (never fear
    the important matter is not yet here)

wait just a moment
i am forgetting my thought
there (o drat)
i forgot it completely

in the mean time i shall tell you a little fable
    (fables are best kept in small doses)

molly after all is a little girl's name
    (molly stands for smile in my mother's image)
and once i asked what I would be if i were a he instead
mother selected steven for a boy
father smoothly agreed
and so if destiny had ordained it
steeeven eeeden would have been my name
and i expect all who heard it would have scorned
the foolish harmony of the title

go ahead (we won't laugh)

steeeven eeeden

hee hee

thankfully fate spared us all
and i am molly unrhymed unharmonious
never troubled by the unity two little words could inspire
and nobody laughs (at least none that i've heard)
because my name produces a smile a grimace and a blank
and this (as we all know) is exactly as it should be

(???)

of course i don't ask anyone to understand
    (meaning is hard to come by these days)
i am a mere assemblage of somewhat somethings
drowned in the swirling unexpectedness of other lives
and yet these two faces keep me afloat
    first name molly
    last name eden
all else is a hissing subterfuge

(?!?!?!)

but now i've completely lost my thread
    (whoever said threads are like thoughts
    evidently did not think much of it)
ah yes i meant to allude to the important matter
of which i shall speak in a moment

you see words and people mingle and blend
like smoke puffed out of competing factories
    (this metaphor i confess is quite misleading
    smoke disperses of its own accord
    but words inevitably stick to people
    for example
        mother taught me molly stands for smile
        so many years ago i cannot recall
        but her image will always be of upturned corners)

important matters were my father's terrain
and as i say it now he said it then
    molly meet me somewhere far away
    we've important matters to discuss
mother wasn't there just then
nor were there many smiles that day

but o how i rattle on about old disregarded things
i expect company any minute now
    and my apartment is such a wailing clutter
        mother no doubt will be the first to arrive
        father some time after
            since the divorce (theirs and mine)
            we three never spend any time together
                (mommy plus daddy plus daughter equals tension
                it's not after all an unheard-of equation)
        my ex-husband shall visit sometime in-between
        and then a silhouetted mystery guest
        the four ghosts of my future past and present
        and some other unwelcome time
        neither i nor the gods invented

but what about the important matter

the important matter (ah yes)

it seems i wandered quite a distance from that
but at last it has returned
the fragile thread of thought recovered
and here it is

o wait
o piddle
i suddenly forgot

III. Sanctuary

Lee

last name

Molly

eden

Lee

first name

Molly

molly

Lee

age

Molly

thirty

Lee

altitude

Molly

five foot three and a half

Lee

density

Molly

pardon

Lee

density equals mass over volume

Molly

i see

Lee

how much space do you occupy
in this little world of ours

Molly

hmmm
    do i have to say

Lee

i must update the facts and factors
as you already know

Molly

i do

Lee

and so

Molly

one hundred and twenty pounds

Lee

ah let's see
    that's one hundred and twenty four minus one hundred
        and twenty
        (no cross-outs cross-overs or re-distributions)
    taken over the last recorded period equals a loss of four
    congratulations

Molly

thank you

Lee

however our world is still too small
you must lose at least ten pounds next time

and as for your height

Molly

yes i know

Lee

you have grown nearly two and a half inches
    don't you remember what i said
        god is not like you and me
        a few scattered clouds and cherubs galore
        suffice to attend his majesty
        hence (molly love) i am afraid
        he does not want your company

Molly

forgive my conceit

Lee

all's forgiven

last question
    molly are you listening

Molly

i was before but not anymore
    is that the last question

Lee

how audacious
    molly eden need i remind you
    the facts and factors disappoint me today
    i expect your utmost attention

Molly

alright
last question

Lee

current occupation

Molly

tidying the apartment (can't you see)

Lee

it is not my responsibility to see
only to record the necessities

Molly

well regardless
the apartment must be presentable

Lee

and to whom do you intend to present it

Molly

i expect company

Lee

company

Molly

mother father my ex-husband
    and an unknown special guest

Lee

company when

Molly

some time soon

Lee

that's too elusive
speak in truths and tangibilities only

Molly

mother will arrive in precisely one hour
the others i cannot tell

Lee

cannot or will not

Molly

cannot and will not
in both cases you'll not know

Lee

but i must notify the doorman

Molly

nonsense
    this is my home
    i've lived here for

Lee

three years since your divorce and all circumstances involved
    therein
    (this according to my records)

Molly

i'm perfectly capable of contacting my doorman
thank you very much

Lee

call him then

Molly

hmmm
    is there really a doorman

Lee

hired four years ago
    (it's all written down)

Molly

in any case
i don't know when they're coming

Lee

unsatisfactory reply

Molly

some time between today yesterday and next week

Lee

that's better

Molly

i knew you'd like it
but before then my apartment must look respectable

Lee

three months of dust disuse and decay
whose fault is that

Molly

my own and none other's

Lee

now you've learned the liability lesson

Molly

enough facts factors and lessons for today

Lee

o alright
my hand feels a bit prickly anyway

Molly

now can you see

Lee

molly's place (it's been so long)
    o yes indeed

Molly

shall i give you the grand go-around

Lee

i'm so excited

Molly

here's the kitchen

Lee

marvelous

Molly

stainless steel stove top
imported teutonic tile
newly refaced cabinets and appliances

Lee

impressive

but what about

but what about the drawer

the one drawer over there

    yes that one
    molly for shame the corners are chipped
    and look a frosted fringe of lace peeks out
    like a periscope seeking detection

Molly

here i keep mother's store of benediction
    three haggard Passover haggadahs
        our names scribbled on the inside covers in
            midnight ink
    the lace my mother pinned to her hair
        as she whispered over grandmother's candle-sticks
    the matzo cover spackled and stained with the honied
        sauces
        of bygone feasts
tucked inside the sanctuary
neither air nor memory can reach

Lee

but why so unkept so untended

Molly

my husband and i carried on the traditions
brandishing candle-sticks matches and flame
wax scenting the air and wine our lips
as we partook of a shabbat snack
i slicing apples into green-rimmed crescents
while he shaded me from divinity with his shadow
nibbling at the nape of my neck and
leaving behind tender valentine-shaped bruises

Lee

no need to fret
    some organization and a dab of paint
    will restore your mother's tabernacle
    to its former resolution

Molly

later that night he carried me to bed
and like a child afraid of the moon
i nestled into his eclipse
content to wait in darkness

Lee

i'll enlist the handyman to make the repairs

Molly

his eyes broke me like kaleidoscopic mirrors
and the fragmented vision revolved
capturing the light i longed to escape
the many pieces uniting in a burst
and only then was i whole and contained

Lee

i don't think we're speaking about the same thing
    molly are you listening

Molly

his softeyes slept sumptuously
as i basked in the moonlight chill
watching the godflames flicker and dance
wasting themselves into smoldering stumps
the moonshine pouring into our kitchen

Lee

for goodness' sake
    must i do everything

Molly

where are you going

Lee

to the kitchen

Molly

why

Lee

i knew it
you haven't heard a thing i said

Molly

stay away from that drawer

Lee

i only want to fix it

Molly

no no no that area's off-limits

Lee

the handyman then

Molly

what about him

Lee

shall i contact him about the repairs

Molly

absolutely not
now please assist me
    (i must get prepared)

Lee

but what about the tour

Molly

the tour

Lee

yes
    the grand go-around

Molly

(ah yes) of course whatever you like
    the bedroom the bathroom the den the closet
    and that as they say is it

Lee

o phooey

Molly

and now i must get ready
    hand me a brush from the bedroom dresser

Lee

what do you say

Molly

please

Lee

alright
which is the bedroom

Molly

that one over there (i just showed you)

Lee

don't get testy
    i'm just trying to help

Molly

i would like you to brush my hair

Lee

what (i can't hear you in here)

Molly

i would like you to part it in the middle
like a harp string fastened across my head

Lee

speak up

Molly

he always asked me to wear it that way
like emma bovary or jane eyre
slippery handfuls and heaps of hair
bonneting the face

Lee

i found it

Molly

molly meet me somewhere far away
we've important matters to discuss

and i slid from the bed
as my husband lay lusciously dreaming
god's light extinguished in the kitchen
all murky incense and haze

a miasma of stifled vespers
and the moonlight led me on

Lee

this bedroom is a mess

Molly

that morning my husband awoke to find
a silent mile of bed at his side
    peekaboo love
    where are you hiding

Lee

sullied bloomers everywhere

Molly

but before long he found me out
the fugitive behind the closet door
    peekaboo love
        hush little baby
        molly why are you crying

Lee

eeek
the floor is covered with puddles
i've wet my shoe (o i hate soggy tootsies)
molly your bedroom needs a clean-up job
a leaky ceiling or what i don't know
has turned it into a water park

Molly

he offered me as manna to the shadows
packing up his priceless expectations
my mother called and he grabbed the phone
    your daughter has done
    an unforgivable wrong

Lee

you have no sponges in your sink
no towels in your cupboard
no cleaning solvents here or there
not even a tissue to spit on
    how shall i dry the bedroom floor
    without the minimum requirements

ah here we are

Molly

he threw the receiver and mother pled
    what's wrong what's happening
        what did he mean
    he's leaving me mom he's leaving
and before i looked up he was gone

Lee

it's not a towel after all
but it'll serve its purpose

Molly

then came the dent in my heart
irreparable and uninsured

Lee

molly this doesn't smell like water

what's that in her hand

Molly

what are you doing with mother's lace

Lee

i

Molly

i told you not to touch

Lee

the bedroom

Molly

what have you done

molly

Lee

puddles on the floor

Molly

mother's lace

Lee

i thought it was water

Molly

how could you

calm down molly

Lee

i

Molly

i warned you

don't

Lee

only meant

Molly

not to touch

Lee

thought it was water

watch out

Lee

molly

Molly

i'm so sorry

Lee

i can't believe you just

Molly

i didn't mean

Lee

my face

Molly

it wasn't hard

Lee

my face

Molly

never mind

Lee

i only meant to help

Molly

i'm sorry

Lee

you asked me

Molly

i know

Lee

did i do something

Molly

the lace

Lee

i swear i thought it was water

Molly

it's alright

Lee

will you hold me

Molly

what do you say

Lee

please

IV. First Visit:
    A Daughter of Corners

Lee

your mother's here

Molly

but the apartment isn't ready
do anything you can to delay her

Lee

it's too late
        (she's here already)

Molly

one minute is all i need

Lee

right this way ma'am

Molly

one measly minute would suffice
to sweep this mess beneath the fringe
of some more attractive unattainable life

but here she comes

o mother
    come in please sit down
    i apologize for my ranting
yes everything's fine
would you like some tea orange juice or coffee
o i see (you're fine as you are)
feel free to make yourself at home
    (it's my apartment after all
    but i permit you to make it yours
    as long as you excuse the occasional chaos)

i think i'll have a glass of wine
    (white wine of course
    red gives me headaches)
i know i never used to drink
but after three years of living alone
one must learn to forgo
all those hard-won inhibitions
    (if you can't speak freely to yourself
    then with whom can you share your feelings)

you're sure i can't get you anything
    a slice of cheese a slab of cake a spoonful of ice-cream

he sent you the papers
    (ah i see)
three years later and i forgot
yes i know it feels like longer
    dad never came home that day
    then you heard the accusation
    but i took up the telephone
    as my husband passed through the door
    into the corridor and out of my life
    leaving me curled like an apple peel on the floor
        a mercy child
        a daughter of corners
and now after three years
he becomes presence again
conjured from the cauldron of remembrance

did he provide a return address
    far far away no doubt
three years i lived fatherless
orphaned to the nightmares desire kept for me

you drove over and tip-toed through the door
the carpets soaking up your rosewater scent
    (those same carpets only moments ago
    that smelled of my husband's shoe-shine polish)
that night you lit a yahrzeit candle
and we prayed ourselves mad

do you remember (so many years ago)
when i struggled to watch you pray
    (in those days my chin barely reached the table)
listening to the shabbat incantations
i smiled at my funhouse reflection in grandmother's candle-sticks
imagining god talked to me
    he spoke in a voice like barry white's
    and looked like mr. clean
    bald brown and bejeweled
        (only god could afford so many diamonds)
molly he boomed all things are good
amen said you and i

where was our god that day
    (perhaps like my father he simply lied)
but you bear your death wounds in his name
whereas i (o mother)
i cannot choose between withering in god
and blasphemy

V. The Secret

Lee

last name

Molly

eden

Lee

first name

Molly

molly

Lee

age

Molly

twenty

Lee

altitude

Molly

four foot eight and three quarters

Lee

density

Molly

pardon

Lee

density equals mass over volume

Molly

i see

Lee

how much space do you occupy
in this little world of ours

Molly

hmmm
    do i have to say

Lee

i must update the facts and factors
as you already know

Molly

i do

Lee

and so

Molly

one hundred pounds

Lee

ah let's see
    that's one hundred and twenty minus one hundred
        (no cross-outs cross-overs or re-distributions)
    taken over the last recorded period equals a loss of
        twenty
    congratulations

Molly

thank you

Lee

however our world is still too small
you must lose at least thirty pounds next time

and as for your height

Molly

yes i know

Lee

you have shrunk no less than three inches
    always remember what i said
        god above prefers you below
        simply because i told you so

Molly

praise my obedience

Lee

all things are good

last question
    molly are you listening

Molly

not before now of course
    (i've nothing else to do)

Lee

how audacious
    molly eden need i remind you
    the facts and factors please me today
    i expect your utmost attention

Molly

alright
last question

Lee

current occupation

Molly

idle impatience (can't you see)

Lee

it is not my responsibility to see
only to record the necessities

Molly

well regardless
the apartment tidied
the first guest ushered out
    the white lace soiled
    the white wine sipped
i've nothing left to do
but sit and wait for visitor number two

Lee

and who is that

Molly

my ex-husband

Lee

and when shall he arrive

Molly

sometime between

Lee

today yesterday and next week

Molly

that's a bit vague

Lee

inexactitude and indecision
whose fault is that

Molly

my own and none other's

Lee

now you've learned the law of imprecision
    the doorman snarled and threw a fit
    when i told him i showed in your guest
        all because dame molly eden
        saw fit to bypass the requisites

Molly

you told him

Lee

of course

Molly

my secret (but why)

Lee

molly you know i cannot lie

Molly

cannot or will not

Lee

does it matter

hush little baby

Lee

enough facts factors

Molly

you didn't have to tell him

Lee

and lessons for today

Molly

he hates me

Lee

my hand

Molly

what if he comes

Lee

feels a bit prickly anyway

Molly

now can you see

Lee

molly's place (it's been so long)
    o yes indeed

VI. Second Visit:
    Goddess

Lee

your ex-husband's here

Molly

send him in

Lee

right this way sir
    (oops watch your head)

Molly

well hello
may i take your coat

ah just stopping through
why thank you (how sweet)
still perky and petit
you're looking well
    (a bit anxious perhaps)
would you like a spritzer
some jam and toast
white for me (you always loved red)
so what brings you to these parts
    an option up for grabs
    a splish-splash of real estate
ha ha you sillypuss you'll never change
    here's your spritzer
    drink it down
but first a toast (no you alright)
    to a year of cohabitation
    hearts tied fast in love and rage
    by the storming gods of marriage

no this is my second glass

in any case
tell me all
everything significant in the least
occurring between now and three years ago

o i see
and what's her name
    (never mind that
    it's of no importance)
two years of courtship and that's it
a merry stroll down lover's lane
have you booked a synagogue
    in that case you might put it off
        (good rabbis require a bit more notice)
    he's already agreed
    in that case fine
        (though i personally wouldn't trust
        such an impulsive rabbi)

are we at all alike
    no i suppose you wouldn't
but what about my eyes (don't you remember)
    once upon a time in the black forest of our bed
    we snuggled nose to nose
    your mouth smiling strawberry lipped
    as you kissed my eyelids closed
        molly your eyes and no one else's
    then came your approach
        lion-like and solemn

    your kaleidoscopic eyes
        breaking me apart
        twisting me in circles

the day after you left
    (no please this is important)
the day after you left i packed up
    the shabbat candles
    the matzo cover
    mother's fringe of lace
locking them all into a chest
and leaving them there unmolested
until the move (i forgot this is your first time here)
unfortunately there are no locks in this place
so i store them in a kitchen drawer
better visible than hidden as a reminder
of the days when the moonlight kept away
and apples stayed fresh forever

o do you
    pity me
        a goddess smearing her breasts with lightning
        while you (poor plebeian that you are)
        must bow and kiss my electric feet

is she pregnant (your little find)
    no this is my third glass and besides
    who could ever forget your response
    to the little bun in my oven
granted my bun as they say (and what a saying it is)
granted my bun was not your bun
    it was the work of a different baker
(no please i must continue)
and instead of granting the conventional hour
of weeping regret and explanation
you stormed the gates
vacating the fort
    peekaboo love
    why are you hiding
peekaboo love indeed
    peekaboo love
    hush little baby
    molly why are you crying

you should have left me where i belonged
entombed in winter coats and fur
but instead you turned the key
just to spit at the heart
of your little devoured goddess

    no this time it's my turn

molly

    take your coat and
    get out get out getout getout getoutgetoutgetout

molly no not the glass

    get out get out

Lee

he's gone

VII. The Word Game

Lee

molly

Molly

i'm so sorry

Lee

i can't believe you just

Molly

i didn't mean

Lee

my face

Molly

it wasn't hard

Lee

my face

Molly

never mind

Lee

i only meant to help

Molly

i'm sorry

Lee

you asked me

Molly

i know

Lee

did i do something

Molly

the lace

Lee

i swear i thought it was water

Molly

it's alright

Lee

will you hold me

Molly

what do you say

Lee

please

yea yea yea

Molly

now what

Lee

let's play a game

Molly

a game

Lee

please

Molly

of course (anything you like)
what kind of game

Lee

a word game

Molly

alright i'll start

Lee

what about the rules

Molly

(ah yes) the rules
    every venture has its regulations

Lee

first rule
    i start not you
second rule (also known as the object of the game)
    i say a word like so
        word
    and you must respond
        not with its meaning likeness or composition
        but with what it truly is
understand

Molly

are hints allowed

Lee

i shall help you if i can

Molly

then understood

yea yea yea

Lee

first word
    and remember what i say
    many words are what they seem to be
        (a dog is a dog
        one cannot disagree)
    while others do not make sense at all
        (take different for example
        it sounds the same as anything else)
first word
    rapture

Molly

rapture rapture
    (i can't get it out of my head)

Lee

absolutely correct
and now a bit harder

second word
    pickle

Molly

troubled and green

Lee

how amazing
    (that's two so far)

third word
    wine

Molly

giggle giggle

Lee

the answer is it makes me laugh
but i'll honor your response

(applause applause applause)

Lee

ahem
fourth word
    sandal

Molly

a supportive word

Lee

fifth word
    bruise

Molly

dull and dreary

Lee

sixth word
    molly

Molly

yes

Lee

no no no
the sixth word is molly

Molly

o that's easy
molly stands for smile in my mother's image

Lee

i'll accept that

Molly

but it's correct

Lee

seventh word
    eden

Molly

first a grimace then a blank

Lee

wrong

booo

Molly

but i

Lee

try again

Molly

but it's my

Lee

beep beep
    wrong again

Molly

that's impossible

Lee

no it's not
i've all the answers written down

Molly

what should i do

Lee

ask for a hint

hint hint hint

Molly

hint please

Lee

you are paradisical

Molly

i am incongruous

Lee

you are perfection

Molly

i am contradictory

Lee

you are precise

Molly

i am erratic

Lee

eighth word

Molly

but i haven't answered yet

Lee

not fast enough

Lee

eighth word
    happiness

Molly

i always forget

Lee

no hints this round

Lee

eighth word
    happiness

Molly

i don't know

Lee

minus one

Lee

ninth word
    love

Molly

i don't want to play anymore

Lee

too late now

Molly

i don't want to play anymore

Lee

ninth word
    love

Molly

stop it

Lee

minus two

Molly

i can't remember

Lee

tenth word

Molly

get out

Lee

get out

Molly

yes get out

Lee

i can't get out

    tenth word

Molly

i wished you up
i can wish you away

Lee

nonsense

Molly

all these years

Lee

fiddle-faddle

Molly

this apartment

Lee

don't be absurd

Molly

get out

Lee

molly are you mad

    after all these years
    it's been forever

VIII. Third Visit:
    Ghost Child

Lee

your father's here

Molly

not yet not yet
stall him as long as possible
grab that brush and help me (please)
my hair is still in shambles

Lee

for goodness' sake
how should i brush it

Molly

part it down the middle
there that's the way
    a harp string fastened across my head
    just as daddy always liked it

Lee

the doorman called twice today

Molly

he always asked me to wear it that way
like emma bovary or jane eyre
slippery handfuls and heaps of hair
bonneting the face

Lee

he warned me against any further interference

Molly

don't speak to me of the doorman now
are you almost finished

Lee

there i'm done

Molly

three years since i saw him last

and how do i look

Lee

like molly eden

Molly

thank goodness
    (precisely what i'd hoped for)

how i anticipated this reunion

Lee

sir

Molly

three years of waiting waiting waiting
waiting so long i couldn't imagine
the waiting would ever cease

Lee

here sir have a seat

Molly

o
    daddy
        you startled me

o my god it's been so long
yes yes yes i know
    (i did it with you in mind)
and how ah good good
and ah excellent
three years and you've barely changed a smidge
    o stop no need for flattery-fishing
    those same big daddy lips and eyes
    those gray-black wildcat whiskers
    your hands building sand castles in the air
    your hair sprinkled with golden water

how thoughtful of you to ask
    yes i'm doing quite well on my own
the apartment suits me nicely i think
though the doorman is a royal bother
and (strange to say it) there are no locks

so sometimes i miss my privacy
that's just like you (i'm perfectly safe)
    besides the four rooms are already cramped
    what with me and all my (ummm) consequences
a roommate is unnecessary just now
but i appreciate the suggestion

no i don't often have visitors like this
    our doorman is strict about calling hours
but i've already seen two guests today
    my ex-husband stopped in
    sprinting out soon after
        (as if i behaved in some way unpleasant)
    and before him mother came for awhile
she told me about the papers
    (in town for dinner and a divorce
    but don't forget to see some theatre)
three years of waiting (hers and mine)
and now you've materialized
like a rabbit from some sorcerer's hat
tucked away somewhere inside
lured out by an unexpected moment

o i'm almost positive she'll sign
    there's no need to worry
i did my best to explain
    if not for your interference
    the child would have heaved a breath
    my marriage crumbling anyway

no i don't miss it much
at least not at certain times
    but before i fall asleep
    squirming beneath starlight and moonshine
        (i wish i may i wish i might)
    would it be a he or a she
    would it drink bottled milk or breast-feed
    would it call me mama mother or mom
    would it eat apple sauce and spit out the peas
    would it sit piggyback on my shoulders
        (remember those old piggybacking days
        when i reached into the clouds
        in the hopes of snatching god's seat away)
sometimes i wonder

and then of course i think of names
    spanning santa's list from a to z
mother named me after a smile
so what should i call my ghost child

emily bobby or samantha perhaps
    (all have smiles in one place or another)
but in the end i choose you
    your whiskers your eyes
big daddy's name on my lips
as i drift off off and away

where are you going
    but right now already
three years ago you promised more
and now au revoir not once but twice
please stay and have a snack at least
    here i'll fix some appetizers
    crackers cheese and mandelbrot
what about the wine (i'm so absent-minded)
    i've forgotten if you prefer

molly's place is empty

red or white

IX. Charades
    (The Murder)

Lee

molly

Molly

i'm so sorry

Lee

i can't believe you just

Molly

i didn't mean

Lee

my face

Molly

it wasn't hard

Lee

my face

Molly

never mind

Lee

i only meant to help

Molly

i'm sorry

Lee

you asked me

Molly

i know

Lee

did i do something

Molly

the lace

Lee

i swear i thought it was water

Molly

it's alright

Lee

will you hold me

Molly

what do you say

Lee

please

yea yea yea

Molly

now what

Lee

let's play a game

Molly

a game

Lee

please

Molly

of course (anything you like)
what kind of game

Lee

a people game

Molly

alright i'll start

Lee

what about the rules

Molly

(ah yes) the rules
    every venture has its regulations

Lee

first rule
    i start not you
second rule (also known as the object of the game)
    i stand before you like so
    and based on a short performance
    you must name the person i become
    and what he or she is doing
understand

Molly

are hints allowed

Lee

i shall help you if i can

Molly

then understood

yea yea yea

Lee

first person
    fee fie fo fum
    i smell the fumes of molly's blood
    not too sweet but o so yum
    fee fie fo fum

Molly

hmmm
o o i know
    the doorman on his way upstairs
    to check my apartment for invaders

Lee

bingo

(applause applause applause)

Molly

he scares me more as a man
than a puny imitation

Lee

just wait
    (that was the beginner's round)
now on to the intermediate level

second person
    molly meet me somewhere far away
    we've important matters to discuss

Molly

father pacing up and down the block
his money belt stuffed with hundreds
waiting for my husband to fall asleep
before he whisked me into his car
offering cigarettes whiskey and second thoughts
as we drove toward the maternity lot

a nurse met us at the door

Lee

molly eden come this way
the doctor will see you in a moment

Molly

i waited in a freeze-dried room
all blue and white and powdered

then she knocked

Lee

mrs. eden i see
you wish to terminate your pregnancy

and where is the father

Molly

the father

Lee

the husband the boyfriend the dad

Molly

it should be in your records

Lee

nope not that i can see

Molly

i told it once to the nurse outside
i can't tell it again

Lee

ah wait just a second here it is
    (listed under special circumstances)
o i see
and where is he

Molly

in the waiting room with the other men
all fathers of regret indifference or relief
but i unlike their sorrow brides
must squander a double prophecy
    my father's child (his and mine)
    my janus of fire-gates and brine
        a daughter son
            a sister brother
    both at the same time

Lee

third person
    peekaboo love
    why are you hiding
    hush little baby
    molly why are you crying

Molly

a simple in and out procedure
father dropped me off the next morning
i slumped like a rag doll into the house
forgetting myself in barbiturates
but memory soon avenged itself
and i dove into the closet mess
fermenting in a bath of secret darkness

but then i heard footsteps

Lee

knock knock

Molly

who's there

Lee

peekaboo

Molly

peekaboo who

Lee

peekaboo love is lost and gone
    molly are you in there

Molly

yes of course
    where else would i be

Lee

i can think of at least a dozen places

Molly

here now i'm out

Lee

is everything alright

Molly

everything's hunky-dory

he stared at me and before i knew it
my flesh split open in sidewalk cracks
the iridescent fragments revolving
    all my secrets shaken out
there i stood
a sympathy beggar
his eyes turning me round and round

but i resisted

Lee

what's wrong molly love

Molly

please don't look at me

Lee

but why

Molly

i can't bear this inquest
    must you know everything

Lee

inquest
molly what on earth do you mean

Molly

and so i told him all
    the adultery
        the incest
            the abortion
my eyes weeping hurricanes
my body chipped to ash

Lee

ring ring

Molly

i'll get it

Lee

o no you don't

Molly

mom i

Lee

give me that
    your daughter has done
    an unforgivable wrong

Molly

don't you dare

Lee

here then you explain
    i'm leaving

Molly

fine

wait o wait

Lee

he's gone

fourth person
    what's wrong what's happening
        what did he mean

Molly

he's leaving me mom he's leaving

and before i looked up he was gone

Lee

molly molly what have you done

Molly

i i i

Lee

put down the phone
    get him back

Molly

but mom i can't

Lee

and why not

Molly

i want him to go

Lee

that's not true

Molly

not entirely but partially so

Lee

if only your father were here
should i come over

Molly

daddy's not home

Lee

not since last evening

Molly

but he promised

Lee

promised what

Molly

we could go away together

Lee

what

Molly

him and i

Lee

honey

Molly

somewhere so far away
not even god could find us

Lee

sit tight little baby
    i'll be there in a jiff

Molly

no wait
    mom
        i murdered someone

Lee

what

Molly

a little murder plotted and planned

Lee

what

Molly

along with the death of an assassin's child

Lee

molly what are you saying

Molly

does it count if the victim is yet unborn

Lee

no

Molly

but that victimhood is incidental

Lee

you didn't

Molly

i am murdered by my own intentions

Lee

molly don't move
    i'll be right over

Molly

i never felt more alive

Lee

murderess

Molly

what

Lee

wrong try again

murderess

Molly

i hate you

Lee

wrong wrong wrong
    i hate you
        try once more

Molly

is this a game

Lee

three strikes you're out

no this is you

Molly

this is me

Lee

yes
        this is me

X. Fourth Visit:
    Eden

Lee

your child's here

Molly

liar

Lee

molly you know i cannot lie

and here we go
    hush little baby
    we're here and safe
    safe at home in molly's place

Molly

my child

Lee

wave to mama
    (my what tiny fingers)

Molly

give it to me

Lee

i can't do that

    baby go waah waah
    when mommy tries to touch it

Molly

please

Lee

you can talk to it from here

Molly

and what shall i call my ghost child
emily bobby or samantha perhaps
    is it a boy or a girl

Lee

neither and both
    (it's only one womb-month old)

Molly

hmmm
then i must pick something neutral

Lee

and it is

Molly

eden
your father's name and mine
    (no smiles for this little one)

Lee

eden it shall be henceforth

Molly

first a grimace and then a blank
    (o i know it's no fun at all)
but one must learn to appreciate their name
    molly stands for smile in my mother's image
what i wonder does yours stand for

Lee

ooo can baby answer the question
good smart baby yea yea

Molly

and now the nightmare has a title
    eden as i toss and turn
    spraying the sheets with urine
    whipping myself into a tidal wave and
    crashing against the consciousness shore

Lee

o baby bored boo hoo
    molly change the subject

Molly

your father was an interesting man

Lee

where is daddy where is daddy

Molly

far off somewhere beyond my reach
the moon's neon refugee

Lee

daddy go bye-bye
    (wave bye-bye daddy)

Molly

the silver-polish smile
    the armor-plated chest
        the eyes of lacquered brimstone
            the cocksure sultan lip

Lee

hush little baby
    don't cry don't cry

Molly

two years of diligent deception
late night rendezvous at cheap motels
bolting the lock against our fears
lava-bodied and felon-hearted

my innocence never even noticed

Lee

now you've done it
    baby go waah waah
    time to leave

Molly

let me have it

Lee

i can't

Molly

then stay a little while

Lee

what does baby say

Molly

please

Lee

baby say ok

Molly

hush little baby don't say a word
molly's gonna buy you a mocking bird
and if that mocking bird don't cluck
molly's gonna buy you a kiddish cup
and if that kiddish cup don't shine
molly's gonna buy you a fishing line
and if that fishing line don't catch
molly's gonna buy you a little match
and if by chance that match should strike
molly and her eden tend the light

XI. Peekaboo Reprise

Lee

enough facts factors

Molly

you didn't have to tell him

Lee

and lessons for today

Molly

he hates me

Lee

my hand

Molly

what if he comes

Lee

feels a bit prickly anyway

Molly

now can you see

Lee

molly's place (it's been so long)
    o yes indeed

Molly

will you protect me

Lee

protect you from

Molly

the doorman
    (he's coming i'm almost sure)

Lee

almost but not quite

Molly

he comes at this time every night

Lee

never mind

Molly

you told him about my guests

Lee

nothing can be done

Molly

and the handyman
    does he know of the forbidden drawer
    the urine on my bedroom floor

Lee

i informed him about your vicious temper

Molly

and the lace

Lee

i threw it out

Molly

out

Lee

the doorman ordained it
    fee fie fo fum
    molly must clean up her own scum
    privilege restored only after that's done
    fee fie fo fum

Molly

he can't do that

Lee

he already has

Molly

but this is my home
my apartment my place

Lee

is it

Molly

i shall call the police

Lee

the police

Molly

just think of the impertinence
a doorman telling me when to rise and sleep
and how many visitors i can keep

Lee

how will you call them

Molly

the telephone of course

Lee

you have no telephone

Molly

no telephone

Lee

there are no telephones in this place

Molly

my home

Lee

and no kitchens either

Molly

my apartment

Lee

unless you consider the cafeteria downstairs

Molly

my place

Lee

but the doctor thought it best
to seclude cruel molly
she can't go to the cafeteria
food must be brought to her

Molly

the doctor

Lee

or the doorman
    (whichever you like)

Molly

but

Lee

hired one year before you arrived
your hair combed parted and tucked
delivered by your father to the promised land
    eyes bright
        arms straightjacketed

Molly

this is

is this it

Lee

no

Molly

my home

is this the place

Lee

yes

molly's place (it is)

Molly

and the handyman

Lee

the nurse
    (whichever you prefer)

Molly

and you

Lee

me

Molly

who are you

Lee

i don't know

and you

Molly

me

Lee

who are you

Molly

i suddenly forgot

peekaboo what was that

    the doorman's coming

Lee

it's too early yet

Molly

can't you hear him

Lee

o god o god
the facts and factors have not been recorded

Molly

i can see the shadows of his footsteps
clip-clop clip-clop down the hall

Lee

i can't see anything at all

Molly

here he comes (hurry hurry)

Lee

last name

Molly

eden

Lee

first name

Molly

molly

Lee

age

Molly

twenty ten nothing

Lee

altitude

Molly

three feet two feet barely even one

Lee

density

Molly

eight pounds two ounces

Lee

wonderful

last question
    molly are you listening

Molly

yes of course (say it say it)

Lee

current occupation

shhhhhh

Molly

can't you see

    i am being born